My encounters with midges over the years has finally paid off. I am launching The Midge-Master, soon to be on the top-ten list of essentials for all island baggers. It is a midge hat with five hi-speed fans that keep the bugs at bay. It's great fun to wear, especially if you are camping with others. You can watch as its hi-efficiency fans blow hordes of bloodthirsty midges over to your friends. Watch as they squirm and swat, while you sit comfortably enjoying a dram. What better way to spend a night under the stars!
As an added bonus, on windy days when the bugs are not a problem, the Midge-Master can be used as a generator to charge the fans and your smart phone. No longer will you have to fret about being off-grid. You'll be able to watch your favourite cat videos anywhere, from Mingulay to Rona. I well remember long nights camped on the far shores of Loch Reasort; the only sounds the gentle lapping of surf, the pitter-patter of rain on the tent, barking red deer, and drumming snipe. It was driving me crazy—oh how I longed for a fully-charged phone to catch up on the latest celebrity news. With the Midge-Master I'll never have to suffer such agonizing deprivation again—and neither will you. Details on how to purchase coming soon.
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| Field testing The Midge-Master in Glen Corodale Note the Tesco Brandy - when only the best will do! |
Very good Marc 👍.
ReplyDeleteGood one Marc :-) Wm.
ReplyDeleteI’d like to commission a device to keep the tics off my pets. That way I can really enjoy being midge-free and not worry about my tic-ingested companions.
ReplyDeleteI will start working on that right away. Should have something by next April 1.
DeleteCould I suggest the use of Sundew as an alternative to Venus Fly traps since Scotland has a record of problems with invasive American species e.g. grey squirrels and orange faced golfers 🤫.
ReplyDeleteGreat Suggestion. As for the dreaded OFG, a cure may be coming this November.
DeleteI would like to reserve 2 weeks timeshare on Hirta, please. The second two weeks of January. Easy access, pleasant breezy climate, great company of kindred spirits. No midges, so brilliant Midge-Master will not be needed. Easy excursions to nearby Stacs, Boreray, Soay and , especially, Lovely Levenish. A dip in the warm ocean before dinner. In fact, put us down for another fortnight in early December too. Thanks for this brilliant initiative. Can't wait ! David & Margaret Gartside
ReplyDeleteYour're reservations are confirmed. For booking so early you qualify for a free ride on the Boreray Zip-Line.
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